Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Dr Smith and Dr Jones
By Melvin
Best friends - Dr Smith and Dr Jones graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Best friends - Dr Smith and Dr Jones graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist;
A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders
A proctologist is a doctor who specializes in problems of the colon, rectum, and anus.
They put up a sign reading:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones:
"Hysterias and Posteriors".
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read:
"Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign:
"Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign:
"Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again..
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again..
Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts" - no way. "Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.
"Loons and Moons" - forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends".
Everyone loved it !!!
Everyone loved it !!!
Monday, 26 September 2011
What is Financial Bail-out
By ?????
What is a Financial Bailout ? It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
...
The butcher takes the €100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hard times, has always gladly offered him her ¡®services¡¯ on credit.
The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the €100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveller will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, picks up the €100 note, pockets it and leaves town.
No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism !!!
And that, dear ladies and gentlemen, is how a basic financial bailout package works !
What is a Financial Bailout ? It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
...
The butcher takes the €100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hard times, has always gladly offered him her ¡®services¡¯ on credit.
The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the €100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveller will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, picks up the €100 note, pockets it and leaves town.
No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism !!!
And that, dear ladies and gentlemen, is how a basic financial bailout package works !
Monday, 12 September 2011
Good blog to keep us updated
Well, it is interesting to note that Molly has put in quite an effort to create this blog.
Cheers to you , Molly!
Cheers to you , Molly!
Singapore Today
By Diana Han
Nick : Looking at the class photo, compared to the modern polys of today, it look like we were studying in some rural village classroom.....
Diana: This is how far we've come by, at a span of mere 3 decades.
A time with no MRT in sight, watching movie at the Princess Theatre.., let alone the Marina Barrage, Gardens By the Bay of today.
We're one of the privileged batches to have witnessed the tremendous growth our island had made, unparellel to most other parts of the world.
Yet challenges remained as to how these dynamism can continue to flourish.
For now, let us cheer! We all have a part to play in what Singapore is today.
Good health, good luck to everybody.
Nick : Looking at the class photo, compared to the modern polys of today, it look like we were studying in some rural village classroom.....
Diana: This is how far we've come by, at a span of mere 3 decades.
A time with no MRT in sight, watching movie at the Princess Theatre.., let alone the Marina Barrage, Gardens By the Bay of today.
We're one of the privileged batches to have witnessed the tremendous growth our island had made, unparellel to most other parts of the world.
Yet challenges remained as to how these dynamism can continue to flourish.
For now, let us cheer! We all have a part to play in what Singapore is today.
Good health, good luck to everybody.
THE PERFECT HUSBAND
By Raymond Loh
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
Amazing Facts
By Sam Teo
Amazing Fact No.1 - For all of us, the last time we were together - Benjamin Sheares was the President (2nd one).
Amazing Fact No. 2 - For the 20 of us reunited and those absent last night - Tony Tan just warmed up his seat for 1 day (7th President).
Amazing Fact No. 3 - 4 presidents died along the way while some of us were figuring out how to meet each other for the past 33 years. One made cool millions & just retired (not by choice) - still recovering from shaking hands and carryiing babies syndrome (can't blame him, he was doing that for 12 years).
Amazing Fact No. 4 - Last night, we had a combined age of 1060 years, that's assuming nobody got retained in kindergarten, primary school, secondary schools, poly, etc.
Amazing Fact No. 5 - Amazing to meet you guys after all these years.
Amazing Fact No.1 - For all of us, the last time we were together - Benjamin Sheares was the President (2nd one).
Amazing Fact No. 2 - For the 20 of us reunited and those absent last night - Tony Tan just warmed up his seat for 1 day (7th President).
Amazing Fact No. 3 - 4 presidents died along the way while some of us were figuring out how to meet each other for the past 33 years. One made cool millions & just retired (not by choice) - still recovering from shaking hands and carryiing babies syndrome (can't blame him, he was doing that for 12 years).
Amazing Fact No. 4 - Last night, we had a combined age of 1060 years, that's assuming nobody got retained in kindergarten, primary school, secondary schools, poly, etc.
Amazing Fact No. 5 - Amazing to meet you guys after all these years.
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