Dr Smith and Dr Jones

By Melvin

Best friends - Dr Smith and Dr Jones graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

 

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist;

A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders

A proctologist is a doctor who specializes in problems of the colon, rectum, and anus.

They put up a sign reading:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones:
"Hysterias and Posteriors".
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

 

So, the docs changed it to read:
"Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign:

 

"Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again..

 

Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts" - no way. "Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.

 

"Loons and Moons" - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

 

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends".

Everyone loved it !!!

What is Financial Bail-out

By ?????

What is a Financial Bailout ? It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.


On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.


The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
...
The butcher takes the €100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hard times, has always gladly offered him her ¡®services¡¯ on credit.

The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the €100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, picks up the €100 note, pockets it and leaves town.

No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism !!!

And that, dear ladies and gentlemen, is how a basic financial bailout package works !

Good blog to keep us updated

Well, it is interesting to note that Molly has put in quite an effort to create this blog.
Cheers to you , Molly!

Singapore Today

By Diana Han

Nick : Looking at the class photo,  compared to the modern polys of today, it look like we were studying in some rural village classroom.....
Diana: This is how far we've come by, at a span of mere 3 decades.

A time with no MRT in sight, watching movie at the Princess Theatre.., let alone the Marina Barrage, Gardens By the Bay of today.

We're one of the privileged batches to have witnessed the tremendous growth our island had made, unparellel to most other parts of the world.

Yet challenges remained as to how these dynamism can continue to flourish.

For now, let us cheer! We all have a part to play in what Singapore is today.

Good health, good luck to everybody.

 

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

By Raymond Loh

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Amazing Facts

By Sam Teo

Amazing Fact No.1 - For all of us, the last time we were together - Benjamin Sheares was the President (2nd one).

Amazing Fact No. 2 - For the 20 of us reunited and those absent last night - Tony Tan just warmed up his seat for 1 day (7th President).

Amazing Fact No. 3 - 4 presidents died along the way while some of us were figuring out how to meet each other for the past 33 years. One made cool millions & just retired (not by choice) - still recovering from shaking hands and carryiing babies syndrome (can't blame him, he was doing that for 12 years).

Amazing Fact No. 4 - Last night, we had a combined age of 1060 years, that's assuming nobody got retained in kindergarten, primary school, secondary schools, poly, etc.

Amazing Fact No. 5 -  Amazing to meet you guys after all these years.

London Olympics

By Melvin and Frank

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London .

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.

"McTavish, Scotland ," he says, "Discus," and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.

"Waddington-Smythe, England ," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.  "O'Malley, Ireland ," he says, "Fencing."  

Haha, Actually there is another guy............  

He walks past the usher, carrying a sports bicycle on his strong shoulder  saying, " Seah Kok Beng Melvin, Singapore. (Re) cycling.

GRANDPARENT'S Phone ANSWERING MACHINE

Contributed by Melvin

祖父母的答錄機  -  好棒的涵義 :----------

Good morning .... At present we are not home, but leave your message after the beep. 早安，我們現在不在家，請於嗶聲後留話。
beeeeeppp ...嗶嗶嗶
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
如果你是我們的孩子，請按1然後照大小排序按1-5，讓我們知道你是老幾來過電話。
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2 如果你是要我們幫忙帶小孩，請按2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3 如果你想借車子，請按3
If you want us to wash or repair your clothes and ironing, press 4 如果你要我們替你洗燙衣服，請按4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5 如果你要把孫子/女放這裡今晚讓我們帶，請按5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6 如果你要我們去接孩子下課，請按6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday and to have it delivered to your home, press 7 如果你要我們為禮拜天準備餐點或送到你家，請按7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8 如果你想在這裡吃飯，請按8
If you need money, dial 9 如果你想借錢，請按9

If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to the theatre, start talking ... we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!" 如果你想請我們去吃飯或請我們去看電影遊玩之類的，請你現在就開始說話, 我們有在聽！！！

Reunion Dinner on 2 Sep 2011

Wow !! finally we managed to gather a group of 20, really great effort and kudos to all, and Melvin (president to be ) Some have not met for 33 long years . Mel issued a word of warning. The image of yr classmate in yr mind may no longer hold true. Allow for a few sizes +/-.

Seated: Richard Chang, Sam Teo, Molly Chua, Violet Lee, Diana Han, Swan Fang, Frank Goh
Behind: Daniel Tan, Jon Sze, Cher Chin, Yew Seng, Nick, Raja, Soo Chin, Melvin, , Raymond Loh, Bok Eng, Daniel Cheong,Eugene Ong, Bee Buan (waiting for cut & paste)

Time Flies...... almost 3 years later

A larger group of us received an e-mail from Melvin. More and more got wind of the planned dinner.......

Hi B Class of 75/76~77/78,

How about having a dinner for our ex poly class on 2nd Sept Friday at
Ah Yat’s Seafood ( Bukit Timah old Race course ).
Pls reply at the earliest so that I can book room big enough for the
numbers.

You can help to circulate this email to those that you are in
contact.

Budget about S$60 +/- per person

So far these can make it
Daniel
Nick
Eugene
Kim Soon
Melvin

Melvin

Planning for the next meeting

After the wonderful dinner, someone was already planning for the next one..........and someone was worried that we may only meet in 2018.

Kim Soon ,

You are well come. For charitable cause it is worth every cent.

If we were to have a regular meeting the next gathering will only be due 2018.

By then, for some, don't forget to bring along pacemaker, walking stick, hearing aid and false teeth.

Location should preferably around Outram road...........in case of emergency.

No young girls and stud serving pls.... ........ weak heart and popping eye in loose eye socket...may drop.

Melvin

Poly dinner on 27 Dec 2008

It was a wonderful evening for those who attended the dinner. Wow, some of us have not met each other for 30 years !!! Thanks to Kim Soon for his great effort to gather us.

----- Original Message -----

From: Daniel Tan Kim Soon

To: Raymondloh798@yahoo.com ; danckk@singnet.com.sg ; jonsze@singnet.com.sg ; poltech@singnet.com.sg ; benedict@bedec.com.sg ; nccy18@yahoo.com.sg ; eugene.ong@dmgaps.com.sg ; irene.nbb@gmail.com ; dianahansg@yahoo.com.sg ; cshmolly@hotmail.com ; scangpl@yahoo.com ; phillip.tan@straitsconstruction.com ; taykahchong@yahoo.com ; huason91@yahoo.com.sg ; huason@singnet.com.sg ; rchang@sp.edu.sg

Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2008 1:21 PM

Subject: Gathering on 27 Dec 08

Dear all

I had thoroughly enjoyed the evening with all of you. It was amazing that some of us have not seen each other for 30 years or so.

I am looking forward to our next meeting and hopefully with more joining us. How about someone get the "Club House" of a condo sometime near end of CNY or just after CNY (??)

I can help do the contact.

Lastly, let me on behalf of the School of the Built Environment, thank you for your generosity to the donation of the Student Needy Funds.

Have a Blessed New Year and hope to see you guys soon.

Keep healthy and youthful.

Regards,

Daniel

Then 30 years later ...

Some of us received an e-mail by Kim Soon on 14 Nov 2008............

Hello fellow classmates of class of 1978

Re: Civil Engineering Dept 50th anniversary dinner 27 Dec 2008

My last email in Mar 08 had created some excitement and many memories. However I just can't get to organise something for all of us. Over the past few months I have managed to meet with a couple more of our classmates. Please see attached namelist for your update. If you notice any outdated data, kindly update me, please.

Ok, I have an invite for all of us.

I was talking to my colleagues about me wanting to organise a gathering for our 50th birthday and guess what it is also our Civil Engineering Dept 50th anniversary this year! So the Dept is organising an Alumni Nite and I thought why not we all come together for this event, instead

Some of us will remember our last Alumni Nite some 4 years ago where we had 2 tables with Justin Tan paying the bills (missed him dearly).

Our 50th Year celebration (and our 50th year birthday for most of us!)

Date: 27 Dec 08 (Saturday evening)
Venue: None other than in SP (of course aircon like hotel with D&D prog)
Cost: Read on

I am still thinking of some special programme especially for our group (welcome any suggestions, please)

Ok, now is the cost. We wanted to also take this opportunity to raise some funds for our "Student Needy Funds" and the ticket is at $150 per pax (of course additional donations are most welcome). If we raise $2000 per table (including tickets cost for 10), we can have our class highlighted.

I really hope to have 2 to 3 tables for that special night and we kick start for more gathering thereafter with the CNY round the corner. I will update you with more details of the programme which may include tour round SP, with our old block, workshop etc where we studied.

I am also inviting TEC 3A and 3C friends whom I am still in contact with them e.g. Kelvin Tay, Phillip Tan & gang

Please do email or sms me to confirm your coming so that I can consolidate and update all of us and get things going.

Hope to see all of us..................Early greeting --- Have a Blessed Christmas

Kim Soon (your class rep for 1977-78)
H/P: 91374809

For next 30 years - 1978 to 2008

Everyone had entered the "rat race" and were always racing. Being trained as responsible Poly graduates, all worked diligently (no day and no night) to build their careers. Then everyone was busy setting up their new homes, families. The children came along , everyone got busier and busier, school, exams, tuition classes,  enrichment course, etc etc etc. Some of us managed to meet each other once or twice , some not at all.......

At Last - Graduation in 1978

Finally after 3 years of hard work, everyone graduated with "flying colours" and was ready to face the real world............. Everyone became great pals for the past 3 years and were sad to part. Then someone was so kind to type out the list of 44 names , addresses, telephone nos (so neatly arranged) and distribute it to the class. With this, everyone was very confident that we will never lose touch. With heavy hearts, everyone  promised to keep in touch,  said goodbye and parted ways............

Groovy Poly Boys

It was the "fashion" at the time.....many boys wore wigs to school and they made a lot of noise at the back of the class , they really craved for attention and wanted to make a statement...........

Singapore Poly 1976 to 1978

It all began in the Year 1976.............when a group of young , eager , enthusiatic teenagers joined SP. This group of young people worked hard, played hard, had a lot of fun together.

Girls (LtoR) : Yong Yoke Leng,Foo Suan Fang,Lian Geok Sim,Chua Swee Hiang,Ng Bee Buan,Han Ai Kwang,Lee Seow Lan, Lam Lee Keow, Phoon Yoke Lin